Spent

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"I'm tired of being the hothead"

Head's hot because I often feel misunderstood,
Trying to keep quiet, trying to let the world do it's thing but quite often
I find myself saying the wrong thing at the right time,
doing the wrong thing at the right time,
captured right enough that pictures are painted about me.

"I'm tired of being crazy"

Crazy because I feel like my minds going in cirlces,
convincing myself, un-convincing myself,
confirming I'm not crazy, then doubting myself,
debating the facts and then trailing it back,
stuck in a cycle where I'm right and I'm wrong but choosing more of the wrong because... well I don't know

"I'm tired of being sick"

Sick physically, I'm sick all the time
Sick mentally, I'm sick in my mind
Sick emotionally, tell my eyes to stop crying.
Sick spiritually, do those realms even take a look at me?
Do they hear me? can they see the pain? the fear? the hate? the love? the anger? the confusion?

"I'm tired of being loud"

Like seriously why am I so FUCKEN loud!
It's loud in my head, its so crowded in that space
It's loud with my mouth, I don't know why I speak like this
I keep talking over people and I don't even know how to stop it
I keep talking over everyone and sometimes I just don't when to stop it

How to stop it
How to switch off
How to shut it down
How to...

*Sigh*


I think the point is I'm tired.

I'm tired of myself.

I'm exhausting...
I'm just so exhausting...

- Fez

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