Sentients?

Baby girl, I'm so sorry. For what he took from you... For what he put you  through... Baby girl, I'm so sorry. For the confusion in your chest... For the desolation in your head... Baby girl, I'm so sorry. That he did it over and over again. That he threatened all the same. Baby girl, I'm so sorry. For how long you had to suffer... For how long you're still to suffer... Baby girl, I'm so sorry... For the youth he stole from you... For the you he thought he was entitled to... Baby girl, I'm so sorry... For the burden you carried all this time... For how you thought you were saving their lives... Baby girl, I'm so sorry... That the only one who knew... Tried to shut you up  too... Baby girl, I just hope... You just never think it's you... It's not your fault, it's not you... Baby girl, I just hope... That you find peace somehow, that you can try to live a life. Baby girl, I just hope... You heal... You're so young for these things... Baby g...

 I just don't know what I'd do if I got that call... if I got that text... Shit I think I'd just break. The "Hey, uhm I just wanted to find out from you when last you saw or heard of... " call or text... Shit I don't think I could handle it. The "I don't know if you've heard, we found her but... ... ..." that sneaky little "but"... Shit I think I would go insane. I worry about you. All of you. I can't bare the thought that you could be here today and gone tomorrow. I can't bare the thought that you could go through such trauma and alone and cold. I can't breathe when I think about my few friends and family, who've gotten the call, who were the caller, or were who the call was about. I wouldn't handle losing you... I'd rather they take me instead. Because I wouldn't handle losing you... I just don't know what I would do.. -Fez

She told them what happened, they said "is that all? doesn't seem so bad" She told them how she felt, when it happened they said "perhaps you're overreacting... this act didn't sound malicious" She tried to find comfort they said "maybe talk to them, maybe it wasn't their intention" She had no reason to lie and yet they chose everyone else but her. Until about 10 months down the line and she started writing about it. And perhaps the problem was that she wasn't getting her concerns across. And maybe the problem was they were hearing her and not listening to the words she spoke. Because all of a sudden it dawned on them that, that story was real! "Yo, is this about what you told me about?" yea... "damn I'm so sorry..." fuck your sorry you're 10 months too late... She had no reason to lie and yet there's still people who choose everyone e...

I wonder how you felt when you did it? That's if you felt anything at all... Is that why you did it a couple times over? Because I was subconsciously asking for more... How do you carry on with your life after you temporarily paused mine? Why is this normal to you? How do you see nothing wrong? How many before me did you tongue down? While they were lying down? How did you say what you said when you were confronted? That I was "pretty out of it", "is that why she was being weird the day after?" are you fucking psychotic? How are you making me seem insane??? How are you not even doubting yourself??? That you could've maybe done it? I consciously walked away to go to sleep elsewhere... how is this a person who is "pretty out of it"? How you gonna lie like it's nothing. How are you gonna lie like you didn't take something that wasn't yours. Like you didn't lea...

So you fetched my from the comfort of my home. Unprovoked, rainy evening you called me. It was cool vibes, it was good times, until your friend said goodnight. It was cool vibes, it was good times, until your friend had to bounce, I knew already by then, I was in a whole mess. Already playing out my fatality in my head. Reading the captions in my imagination, "where was she going? she should've known to stay home" Reading the captions in my imagination, "she willingly got into his car, he did nothing wrong" In my baggy shirt, and baggy hoodie, I felt underdressed. Anxiety and stress, I was pacing in my head. Trying to analyse the situation without seeming paranoid. Trying to analyse the situation without indicating that I'm vulnerable. A calm out of nowhere occurred. I no longer felt as edgy. "Shit must've been...

I think I hate you the most. I think I hate you the most, because of where we come from. I think I hate you the most, because of where we come from, because of what we've been through. I think I hate you the most, because of where we come from, because of what we've been through. Because it was also you! who helped me get through the same damn shit. I think I hate you the most, because of where we come from, because of what we've been through. Because it was also you! who helped me get through the same damn shit. When he did what he did. I think I hate you the most, because of where we come from, because of what we've been through. Because it was also you! who helped me get through the same damn shit. When he did what he did. When they all had similar tricks. I think I hate you the most, because you watched me cry when I was confused. You sat there quietly and furious trying to find them. "Do you want us to go beat him" Eac...

They've been asking about you lately. And well I guess it makes sense because, you  disappeared  so suddenly. To them that is but you know the real story... Or... well? That's if you  remember it the same way. Considering you tried to play victim even after the way things swayed. Even after how things played out, you decided it was you who was did wrong. When I left a place I used to feel safe with no shoes just socks. When I left a place I used to feel safe with my stretched out shirt that you dragged on. When I left a place I used to feel safe with no bag, no keys. When I left that way, trying to get away some how it's you that felt weak? It's you who felt vulnerable? It's you who felt the right to ask "so are you gonna cut me off or what? I'd like to know where I stand" Did you know where you stood when you chased me aroun...