Where Do I Live?

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Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up above the gray scale "colors" that never had enough room for me.
I live in dictated lines when someone feels like we vibe and it's cool to say n* 'cause I fall in these lines...

Sometimes...

 Way up high, and violence is my stereotype. 
No language comes out when I bite and I'm way too foreign for my own type.

Where do I live? 
Between prejudice of my belief and what to say when I speak 
and how I'll offend you when I breathe and disowned from my continent for my English... 
Solely... 

 I live behind the mirror wall because I can't look at my face at all 
because love seemed not to hear my call and for skinnier, prettier, smarter they'd fall...

 In lecture halls and itchy wrists and prayers with tears hope to forget
the time wasted live life regret... No alcoholic beverage... Hereditary addict...

Where do I live? 
Where I'm not good enough,
where constant self conversations aren't covered in love, 
where I'd die before I'd live, 
and lose before I'd forgive...

 In church pews beating up self for struggling to pray. Imposter's syndrome is the play of my brain. Fighting my self just to trust and obey...
Where do I live? 
On the outskirts, horizon comparison. Cheering you on but think bout what I've not done. 

 Inhaling the dust of battles not won...
I live in no man's land...





-Ness

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