Trying so hard

-

I'm trying so hard,

not to be petty...


You used to turn a blind eye,

I never really cried for help but

I didn't really have to.


You used to watch and hear,

the things done and said but

you didn't really have to.


You used to keep quiet and act,

like you couldn't see a damn thing but

you know you saw everything.


You used to keep quiet and act,

like you couldn't hear a damn thing but

you know you heard everything.


I'm trying so hard,

not to be petty...


Because now the roles have switched and,

you're blowing up my phone constantly about

how you cannot take this.


Because now the roles have switched and,

you're reaching out all the time with

that expression on your face.


And now I must do what you failed to do,

cradle you?

while you watched me turn blue?


And now I must do what you failed to do,

protect you?

what am I supposed to do?


I'm trying so hard,

not to be petty...


But I do not know how...



I thought I was okay, 

but now you're blowing me up and I'm realising

I never forgave you for how things went down.


What am I supposed to do?


Put myself in the firing arm,

so you can breathe and sleep with peace?

SO I can hurt while you keep your peace?


What am I supposed to do?


I won't be petty,

I'm trying so hard, not to be petty...


But I'm sorry,


I wont put myself on the line for you.

Serve your time,  I've served mine too.


-Fez

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