Mental

-

I can't tell what's up and what's down no more,

What's wrong and what's right no more,


I'm all over the place but stagnant,

I'm all over my head but dormant.


I think I'm really losing my mind,

And it's not a joke anymore.

I think I'm really losing myself,

And it's not just words anymore.


I'm not coping with this life thing

not at all.


I'm not coping with this alive thing

what's up with my soul?..


What price is my worth?

What weight is on my shoulders?

What hurt is in my core? 


I lose sense of reality so often...

And the days go by without me


I lose sense of my mentality...

It's like I'm living without me...


And I know that makes no sense,

But that's not me anymore.


It's not common at all.

I'm just all over the show.


And I know that makes no sense.

But that's how i feel.


I think I'm broken.

And it is what it is.


-Fez

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Room in the Elephant

-
 There's an elephant in the room ,  but no room in the Elephant . An outline with no mass ,   a figment of the imagination.  A silhouette of anti-mass , feather light but heavy on the mind. Intangible and immaterial  but present in the prefrontal cortex. Hard to ignore because it's not there.     
Read more

I would've left me too...

-
When I look back at it all... I don't think I blame you. For walking out on me, Without a word, And then avoiding the topic, When I confronted you For walking out on me, Without a word, You made me a villain, And I guess it was true. When I look back at it all... I don't know what's worse. That you couldn't talk to me, or that it felt like it was easy for you to do what you did. Or that, I tried for months to talk to you, and maybe it was hard for you to do what you did. Leave me that is, My best and longest friend... When I look back at it all... I don't think we could recover. It's been almost a year now, Too much has passed, It's been almost a year now, I'm sure we're both different people. When I look back at it all... I don't know what I could've changed... I don't know what I did wrong, But a part of me feels like I should, I never got my closure, So this will substitute. I'm not saying you're the root of my demise, But damn...
Read more

2023.

-
 Dear diary, Would you like to know how long 22 minutes felt to me as I had south park playing in the background as I walked around the house looking for something to ease the pain. The pain of it all was that I knew I was looking for nothing. I was walking aimlessly looking for what was gone for what was missing. At the end of it all Our baby is gone again.  Gone you say? Yes- gone. What does gone mean? Well diary this is what I mean. but before I do, I am going to give context. I have been wanting a baby with Visa since the day we let life take the wheel and made love everyday and the one month I realized my contraception was back ordered late and the exciting was about to happen. But before we knew it… I felt a pop in my abdomen and the rest was history. Even though history kept repeating itself 7 times in 2.5 years. 6 chemical miscarriages 1 complete miscarriage I mean our precious little heartbeat stopped. The thin layer of epidermis tissu...
Read more